Life in My Words
By: Monique K. Rose
1. Thinly disguised misogyny from male-dominant owned industries
This grew prevalent as I embarked on a project in the tech industry. Visualizing, planning, and designing my very first mobile app product was no walk in the park. Professional business consultations were often met with flirtatious and demeaning remarks that had to be nipped in the butt right away, leading to awkward correspondence later or failure to correspond further.
2. Commonly mistaken for uneducated
Introductory meetings and exchanging information on professional background was met with surprising facial expressions and repetitive interrogations for validation. People did not expect me to say that I have a Masters degree and five years experience as a teacher in my 20s.
3. Judged as superficial and often misunderstood
Millennial professionals are fashionable, unconventional, innovative, and creative. We're often mistaken for trying to reinvent the wheel well in all actuality we are spinning the same wheel at a new pace and spicing it up with a new taste because we are futuristic visionaries.
4. Lied to by corporations that want more money from you
Companies assume you did not conduct research and can identify when you are being overcharged.
5. Endure a lot more footwork to get to the next level
They will require more from you to get their job but will not do the same for their male counterparts or big chip companies.
Daily exposure to racism in elementary school and below is emotionally and mentally traumatizing for children. I can tell by the conversations young children have about the topics that they THINK they understand well. This is why I don’t advocate for children to get involved in current events too young. Definitely not before middle school. (I’m a certified grade 6-12 teacher so perhaps my perspective is a bit biased. I’m open to your feedback)....
I wasn't aware of traumatic events going on in the world until 6th grade. Prior to that, I exercised cognitive skills, communication skills, and analytical skills. My parents enforced spirituality, education, and overall mentally prepared me by ensuring I had a strong foundation to take on the information that later consumed my thoughts as a preteen and beyond...
I find that children under 11 years old may not ACCURATELY identify racism in a predicament until they’re old enough to metacognitively reflect on it. For instance, if a white girl bullied me or didn’t want to play with me I just INNOCENTLY thought as a child SHOULD: “she's mean,” or “she just doesn’t want to play with me” or “she doesn’t like me” or “let me go find someone else to play with”. That’s normal or acceptable in my opinion compared to a child complaining that the white girl is being racist. It’s detrimental for young children, while their brains are barely developed, to accurately identify and cope with these worldly corruptions. According to the American Psychological Association, children that are exposed to traumatic events are more likely to have mental health issues. That’s how most of the kids in our community grow up traumatized and conditioned to a victimized way of thinking. I believe parents should continue to raise their children to see the world innocently until they’re mature enough to digest the corruption. I like that church is an uplifting place for children to identity right from wrong and understand that there are sinful things in the world before actually facing it. There are many places, programs, or organizations other than church that create a safer space for children to learn and understand current events.
It’s embedded in westernized culture to feed children the media. In many countries and cultures, children are raised to excel in their studies, build on their crafts/talents, and focus on self sufficiency. America apparently loves to condition peoples minds with their media agenda aka propaganda. I won’t expose my child to it. He’ll learn events through reading and in a classroom setting where his thinking is guided by experts. There are many interviews online where celebrity parents say that they advocate for the same, although they work in the media industry. I recall parent teacher conferences and PTA meetings where parents said that they don’t allow thier children to watch tv or use tech devices unsupervised. My upbringing was a bit similar so I experienced first hand the benefit of this and will continue to raise my son in that way. When he is in middle school, we will dissect these conversations with him.
But of course, how one raises thier child is very subjective. So to each it’s own but always keep your child's mental health in mind. - @moniquekrose
#Keepinmind #mentalhealth #JustMyPiece #perspective #Childdevelopment #mentalhealth #childrenareprecious #futureleaders #HistoryInTheMaking #educationiskey #insight
Our minds are mendable
so that our reality is bendable.
We are not victims.
We suffer because we’re warriors.
God gives his toughest battles to his greatest soldiers.
How dare we lay down and surrender to a black reality that we can change?
This is my mentality and I am Black American,
I know what my reality is and that is not the one that we were conditioned to believe
or was historically painted for us as African Americans.
By: Monique K. Rose
What is the Black Reality?
We are constantly exposed to this notion that being African-American or Black American equates to suffering. The idea that Black Americans are born into unfair circumstances, often disadvantaged by individual and institutionalized racism, leaves many Black people feeling hopeless about their future success and family growth. Historically, we were displaced in a white supremacy society that inherently made us victims of an identity crisis because we struggle to fit in a society that constantly enforces we don't belong.
Thousands of African-Americans can relate to some of the experiences that leaders in the Black community highlight in their music, art, books, podcasts, and more. Take, for instance, this clip of Meek Mill, spotlighted as an advocate for prison reform, as he describes the experiences he faced as a Black man in America.
My story may not be one of immense financial struggle but it certainly is one filled with pain. I learned early on that as a Black women I am subject to living a laborious life, working double the time and triple the effort to achieve success. Compounding the physical labor of black womanhood is the ongoing emotional fight to be strong when I am deeply saddened and the psychological damage caused by years of verbal and physical abuse. I battle self-doubt as I avoid making life choices through a tainted lense of reality caused by dysfunctional relationships and traumatic experiences that I once considered a norm. Growing through these ongoing pains has given me the strength to break through every glass ceiling and put me in a position to inform and inspire Black girls on how to do the same.
The Black Reality Is Divided.
The collective feeling of hopelessness that is caused by a collection of testimonies that convey Black hardship, is birthed in what Kanye West dubs the “slave mentality.” Referencing slavery, he states during his visit to the White House for a press conference with Donald Trump, "You were there for 400 years and it's all of y'all. It's like we're mentally imprisoned."
West left many people, especially our Black community disheveled and uproarious for various reasons. I evaluated the media's response to Kanye’s analysis of members in his culture and felt the magnitude to which he ignites this feeling of black victimization. He reminded us that oftentimes black people feel targeted and misunderstood. The question that lingered in me as I listened to the press conference was how can a fellow African American, who himself went through the trenches of the black experience, share beliefs that do not resonate with his own people?
As I reflected on Kanye West's successes, admiring the fact that despite our horrid history in America and his shortcomings, West still made it on top of the game in his era, becoming a world-renowned billionaire, I resonated with his beliefs on the "slave mentality" and imagined the opportunity to approach him with this query:
Does he imply that some Black people suffer because of the mentalities we derive from our experiences and history of suffering and now we've become this abyss of suffering energy that gravitates more suffering because we continuously, consciously and subconsciously, hone in on these experiences of suffering?
The question should not demote, denounce, or disclaim the facts of our history and the fight our ancestors faced daily, many of them dying as a result. I acknowledge discrimination, racially organized socio-economic standards, and injustices that my fellow African Americans face even still today. However, I can't help but ask how do we stop the growth of that seed planted in our lives throughout history? How do we blossom despite the tainted fertilization of our history.
Let's change the narrative to one of Black Excellence
Has it dawned on the people that defame and denounce West for marrying a woman that is not Black and embracing the the world's most hated president, Donald Trump that maybe, just maybe, he no longer thinks from a "slave mentality" or the struggling Black American mentality that we are conditioned to harboring due to our school history textbooks?
The expectation in most cases for Black women is that we’ll end up unhappy, struggling, single mothers with messed up children and lifestyle diseases. As a African American female, I must say that we have potential far greater than our fears.
I, myself, experienced my potential to be like Donald Trump; jumping through the loop holes, utilizing the system to our advantage, and infamously being my natural self without regard to society's life standards and expectations.
The picture painted for Black men is that they’ll be fatherless absent- father’s that are forced to work multiple jobs to make a living or spend their life being emasculated and humiliated in prison. Many are afraid that they'll be victims of police brutality or killed by their own people in their community. Why is this the generalized story? Why aren’t the positive, prosperous, and peaceful sides of our culture glamorized the way the drugs, aesthetic bodies, foul language, and crime rates glamorized in the media. Could this also be what Donald Trump Calls “fake news?”
Perhaps successful African Americans like West, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle & Barack Obama, Shaquille Oneil, Lebron James, Supa Cent, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, and Beyonce, (just to name a few), have transcended from the Black struggle to a mindset of power, passion, self-will, and meritocracy. Maybe West thinks from a superior force, a higher calling placed on from some higher being he believes in and we too can all beat the odds and design our lives to create the success stories that our ancestors did not have the freedom to choose. We can choose to be in God's image, prosperous and purposeful, or we continue to point blame while blossoming into society’s image. God promised us all a life grander and greater than the life we imagine when we put our faith and trust in him.
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. (Matthew 5:14)
Thousands of prosperous Black Americans discover that they have a gift, believe in their gift, and align their life purpose with delivering that gift. The power of our gifts is that it gives us something to live for and shapes the vision we aim to blossom into. The gift distracts us from the negative stories and the false realities painted for us in the history books we read and the media we see. Twelve Years A Slave and Django Unchained are movies that constantly regurgitate the pain of our past instead of our promised purpose - we are Children of God and we are made in his image (1 John 3:2). We all need to recognize who we are. Our suffering is no different from the suffering Jews underwent like segregation, third world countries experiencing poverty, or middle eastern countries battle like religious wars. Let’s stop allowing unfair treatment to define who we are. Let’s unite to determine our future and recreate the Black narrative. Let’s stop calling ourselves victims and decondition our minds from a failure mentality?
God's greatest gift to us is the ability to change and grow. I am proud to say that being Black American is an added advantage in 2020 and beyond. We have multifarious resources at our disposal, limitless access to information, unrelenting creativity, mental freedom and the privileged opportunity of owning our craft by becoming business owners. It’s time we collectively change the Black American reality by mastering our crafts pushing the negative narratives to the back of Black American history.
Message: Avoid Losing Yourself In Your Work
ln my parent's native patois dialect "Wah Gwan! Mi hope every ting cris"
Thank you for visiting my blog. Special holiday announcement: my Chapter 28 chapter starts March 1st. If you're a pisces, comment your birthday below and feedback on this post for a special monetary gift from me (seriously).
So what's this post about?
I am hardly personable or expressive about my trials and tribulation online. I kept a lot of it to myself up to chapter 27. Despite feeling nervous about disclosing this particular testimony, I feel the need to now because it may help someone who can relate.
I became a licensed High School English Teacher (ELA) in 2016 and kickstarted my career in a charter school. The following year, I spontaneously got a call about a vacancy at a juvenile facility to teach incarcerated youth ELA and prepare them to pass their regents or GED exam. Although this was not in my future plans, I went to the interview and accepted the position because my intuition told me that this opportunity was bigger than helping incarcerated youth gain academic success. I felt that they needed to renew their mentality by developing positive thinking habits. After listening to their perspective on their community and themselves, I knew their only goal couldn’t be to go to college when they were released. They needed divine intervention and healing in my eyes because they were victims of severe trauma, which led them to commit the crimes some admitted to committing. Fast forward to after serving 4 years, I was surprised by how consumed I was by their experiences and my journey with coping through it. The facility also exposed me to the essence of political bullshit and the classroom restrictions tainted my teacher philosophies. (I can dive deeper into my experience working in a juvenile facility but that friends, I’ll save for a future post.)
Freedom is a belief.
It is not an object that you obtain,
a concept that you learn, a dimension
of life that you enter, or a human right
that can be taken away.
Let's take this moment to understand
Freedom as a mindset.
Let's take a moment to make a choice that frees you instantly: let go of negative thoughts. Simply accept where you are and who you are now.
A free mind is a free life to everyone that sees.
Imagine that moments of fear, anxiety,
and depression are moments when
your heart cries out from your mind to be set free!
Imagine that all along it's been you against you,
refusing to change the perception
that changes your reality.
We ought ‘a start accepting that sense of Freedom.
We better start realizing that Freedom isn’t
relying on an experience, predicament, or a system
to become better for you to be better.
Let's not become stagnant but present in order to master Freedom’s dominant trait: adaptability.
Message: Diets are temporary remedies and quick-fixes. A healthy lifestyle is permanent and transformative for generations to follow.
When I began to share my fitness journey on Instagram, my intention simply was to stay motivated along the journey. I initially made my username @moniquefitnessjourney and only followed fitness influencers. I had this intuitive feeling that blogging would keep me motivated especially since influencers made it seem exciting to share exercise videos. So I started blogging hoping that people who can relate to my journey, would learn from my experience and begin to follow my page. Apparently, my presumption was right. Blogging on Instagram led to features in DailyMail, MadameNoire, and AfroGirlFitness. It wasn't long before I realized that blogging my health journey would keep me on edge with the thought "You can't preach what you don't practice". So Instagram helped me to be consistent and I had followers that held me accountable, primarily because they learned from my experience.
The algorithm of my brain is that the more I know, the better I live and can educate others to live better as well. Sharing knowledge helps me to stay educated, work harder, and gives me a greater purpose for living. I decided to develop a business for health consultations and personal training. I went back to school to become a personal trainer and studied nutrition independently. My company is called Mo's Motivational Health Club and the two prominent resources we offer our clients seeking to kickstart their health journey, especially to lose weight, is a health guide to living a healthy lifestyle the natural way (no gym or dietary supplements necessary) along with a mobile app for mothers struggling to maintain fit bodies while balancing their family and career launching April 2020. The guide is called Mo's 5 Step Challenge™ and the app is called the moFitmom fitness app.
Here are 3 reasons you will benefit from implementing Mo's 5 Step Challenge™
1) It’s not a diet.
The challenge is a lifestyle change that you will grow to love, value, and share with others. The results are impeccable and rewarding to participants that especially have a family history of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, and high intolerance level for stress. Let me explain how step-by-step:
Step 1 keeps your blood replenished, adds natural glow and moisture to your skin by purifying your pores, maintain a healthy metabolism, and will definitely keep you hydrated!
Step 2 decreases addiction to some of the most common "guilty pleasurable" foods such as french fries, chips, white bread, white rice, pasta saturated with sauces, cake, cookies, etc. I believe cheat days will occur especially on holidays and special occasions but it will be less likely for your body to grow accustomed to desiring it again once you feel the difference in your body after your first time cheating!
Step 3 will amazingly decrease your fat storage and build a healthier metabolism. Eating then going to sleep or eating at the weee hours of the night simply increases fat storage in your body & most times it's in the areas you least desire like your stomach, back, and arms. In simple terms: Your body powers down at night therefore, your metabolism slows down at night. I like to think of it as our digestive system collaborates with our brain. Our brain knows when its night time and tends to power down in sleep mode so This is the case for your metabolism as well!
Step 4 will add that surplus of nutrients to your blood stream on a weekly basis, which decreases chances of getting an illness or disease, especially if you are sticking to step 1.
Step 5 keeps you active always! There's no room for feeling unmotivated to go to the gym or making excuses about time and money! Working out at home while completing your daily activities conforms you into a robotic fitness junkie! You are burning calories and exercising your heart for a longer and much healthier life!
Monique is a teacher, entrepreneur, mother, and writer. She wears multiple hats due to her mission - living her best life unapologetically as if every day is her last day. She aspires to help all people with personal development and their health and fitness journey.
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